"TOT-ta's" Taters for the Adult

Who doesn't like tots? It was my daughter's favorite line from Napoleon Dynamite "Give me some TOTS!" These tots are not for the tyke. SO - you'll boil whole russet or yukon gold potatoes (I prefer the yukon gold) till done (NOT MUSHY). When they cool, peel them and shred them (don't use a food processor, use a hand held grater or else it'll be too mushy - which is quickly becoming my word du jour I see) over a large flat pan w/paper towel to absorb extra water. I usually do this with 6 large potatoes. Next, grate (or cheat and buy the already grated) cheese. I find this works best with a blend of cheddar & Monterey jack or pepper jack but you can experiment and seems which you like best. Though I tend to think that something like, say, Mozzarella would get (YUP) MUSHY! OK, so next step is to grate a Large vidalia onion (another type if you prefer, though it may overpower) fresh ground black pepper, mix well. Let cool in a fridge, makes it easier to mold. Grab a handful of the mix, shape into a "TOT" but bigger than an a golf ball, more like a billiard ball - though I like it flat on both ends, shaped like a shotgun shell. I quickly dip them seasoned wondra flour (salt, pepper, onion and garlic powder) then a quick dip in egg wash. NOW - roll them in seasoned PANKO breadcrumbs. You can find these w/regular breadcrumbs. You can season them yourself - but when I've tried this, it isn't quite the same thing. Seems the "seasoning" falls to the bottom of the bowl and the breadcrumbs remain plain. So - roll them in and (hopefully you have a FryDaddy/Frybaby) drop them in HOT PEANUT OIL (tastes better). Again, you can try another oil - olive would make them...say it with me..MUSHY and give it a whole other taste/texture. If you or a loved one is allergic, I think the next best thing is Canola oil. So, deep fry them until they are a deep golden brown. Take them out to drain, serve hot with a dip. I like Horseradish mixed with crushed garlic, mayo, a little heinz 57 and a few teaspoons of white vinegar, salt, crushed red pepper. SPICY! Enjoy.

OF Slow Cookers...

Some people say that a slow cooker isn't technically "cooking". For those of us who have three kids, three dogs and three chickens (YES, Chickens...eggs anyone?) sometimes the crockpot is a savior. So, this is something that you can throw together in the morning or the night before, turn on low in the morning and have a GREAT dinner. I was originally thinking Chicken Caccitore - not realizing I had no chicken. But it turned out FABULOUS - stick with me! SO I cut up two green and red peppers, threw in five crushed garlic cloves, a pack of baby bella mushrooms, one large (huge actually - the size of a softball) onion, two large cans of stewed tomatoes, one can tomato paste, salt (SEA SALT ONLY PEOPLE, MUCH BETTER FOR YOU) fresh ground pepper, paprika and tiny bit of Old Bay (mixed spices with paprika that is NOT just for seafood). I go out to the fridge and, NO CHICKEN (I think our chickens snuck in and gave it a proper burial). So I spy a loin of pork. I throw it into the microwave to defrost and figure, what the hell? I took the loin, realized it was too small (did I mention my son is 6'3" at 15 yrs old, hubby is 6'5" and two other kids?) and grabbed some boneless pork ribs as well. Threw them all together and turned it on. I like to throw in cannellini beans, too - but the kids don't care for them. I put them aside and add them to some separately. WELL, can I tell you? AMAZING. The pork juices mixing with all of the italian ingredients came out fantastic. I made some whole grain pasta to put it on top of when I got home and the family LOVED it. It was a mix between caccitore and braciole. FABULOUS and easy! If you want to make it easier still - grab a pouch of McCormicks Slow Cooker Italian Herbed chicken seasoning and use that. DO NOT ADD salt to that as there is quite a bit in the package. Let me know!

Deep Fried Pickles w/Horseradish sauce

I saw this recipe on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives...YUM. HAD to make it. First of all, who doesn't like anything deep fried? Second, who doesn't like pickles? OK, so, some people don't like them I've heard (LIES AND SLANDER)....be that as it may - this is pretty simple and delicious.

5 or 6 large barrel (kosher dill or dill) pickles cut lengthwise into quarter spears
1 egg
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 (12-oz.) can beer
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 1/2 - 2 cups all-purpose flour
Peanut Oil (makes a big difference in taste)

1. Pat pickles dry with paper towels.
2. Whisk together egg and next 3 ingredients in a large bowl; add flour and salt, and whisk until pancake batter like consistency.
3. Use deep fryer or pour oil to a depth that will completely cover the pickle slice in a large heavy skillet or Dutch oven; heat over medium-high heat to 375°.
4. Dip pickle slices into batter, allowing excess batter to drip off. Fry pickles, in batches, 3 to 4 minutes or until golden. Drain and pat dry on paper towels; serve with horseradish sauce (below).

3/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons chopped chives
1 garlic clove, minced
1 heaping tablespoon (or more) grated fresh horseradish root

(or prepared horseradish)
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt

1. Whisk together first 6 ingredients. Garnish, if desired with chives.

Beef Wellington and Swiss Chard

I have been remiss in not posting anything sooner. As I was told "I'm STILL looking at a Reuben!" Sorry, and thanks for keeping me in check. So, over the holiday (HAPPY 2011!), I was flipping through the thousands of channels on TV and stumbled upon Two Fat Ladies cooking show. Remember them? Clarissa and Jennifer, motorcycle riding, heavy drinking, smokers who don't believe in cooking "light". Bless their hearts. Of course, one of them is dead, which is why the show is no more. BE NOT AFRAID! It wasn't the food, it was the smoking, which I can happily say, I've given up. Yay for me. Again, I digress. SO - Beef Wellington, I've been watching them make this on Hell's Kitchen a LOT. But when I saw the Fat Ladies, I figured I could do it. Don't be afraid...its not that difficult, especially my way. So, get a GOOD Filet of beef. Expensive, but worth it. Marinate it for at least two hours in some white wine vinegar, water (about half and half) celery, onion, carrot, garlic. Drain and pat dry. Chop up shallots (two medium) and small pkg of mushroom (portabella) - put in frying pan with a tiny bit of olive oil (so it won't burn) until browned - add 1/4 cup of red wine (dry) and two heaping tablespoons of foie gras (liver pate). NOW WAIT - before you say "ewww, liver" - it does NOT give you the taste you'd think. It is VERY good. You can use duck or goose or chicken liver pate, doesn't matter, personal taste. Stir that all together in the pan till most of the moisture is cooked away, set aside.

Here's the part that freaks people out - the puff pastry dough. You CAN make your own - I cheat and buy it right in the freezer section. Get a box with two "sheets" of dough. Lay the dough right on the cookie sheet or baking pan you are going to use after a quick spritz of non-stick spray. Spread a good amount of the mushroom mix on the center of the dough, then take the beef patted dry, place in center spread the cooled mushroom mix around the rest of the filet, sprinkle with sea salt and pepper. Now, fold each side over (overlappin) and pinch it at both ends. Score the top of the dough to release steam. Brush with egg-wash. Bake in pre-heated 400 degree over for @ 20-25 minutes, the dough will be golden brown. The meat, rare. And, as the fat ladies said, if you want it well-done, "Don't bother cooking it a'tall"


The side for this is Swiss Chard. Very easy, cut the thicker, bottom ends of the stalks off, cook them first (leaves cook faster) put them in a hot skillet with olive oil, garlic and three anchovies chopped up or, a small teaspoon of anchovy paste - either way, no bones and it adds great flavor. Wait a few minutes until they are moist through, then add the leaves, stir, cover and remove from heat. The leaves will absorb the flavor.


Next up - classic baked chicken