Deep Fried Pickles w/Horseradish sauce

I saw this recipe on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives...YUM. HAD to make it. First of all, who doesn't like anything deep fried? Second, who doesn't like pickles? OK, so, some people don't like them I've heard (LIES AND SLANDER)....be that as it may - this is pretty simple and delicious.

5 or 6 large barrel (kosher dill or dill) pickles cut lengthwise into quarter spears
1 egg
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 (12-oz.) can beer
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
1 1/2 - 2 cups all-purpose flour
Peanut Oil (makes a big difference in taste)

1. Pat pickles dry with paper towels.
2. Whisk together egg and next 3 ingredients in a large bowl; add flour and salt, and whisk until pancake batter like consistency.
3. Use deep fryer or pour oil to a depth that will completely cover the pickle slice in a large heavy skillet or Dutch oven; heat over medium-high heat to 375°.
4. Dip pickle slices into batter, allowing excess batter to drip off. Fry pickles, in batches, 3 to 4 minutes or until golden. Drain and pat dry on paper towels; serve with horseradish sauce (below).

3/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons chopped chives
1 garlic clove, minced
1 heaping tablespoon (or more) grated fresh horseradish root

(or prepared horseradish)
1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt

1. Whisk together first 6 ingredients. Garnish, if desired with chives.

Beef Wellington and Swiss Chard

I have been remiss in not posting anything sooner. As I was told "I'm STILL looking at a Reuben!" Sorry, and thanks for keeping me in check. So, over the holiday (HAPPY 2011!), I was flipping through the thousands of channels on TV and stumbled upon Two Fat Ladies cooking show. Remember them? Clarissa and Jennifer, motorcycle riding, heavy drinking, smokers who don't believe in cooking "light". Bless their hearts. Of course, one of them is dead, which is why the show is no more. BE NOT AFRAID! It wasn't the food, it was the smoking, which I can happily say, I've given up. Yay for me. Again, I digress. SO - Beef Wellington, I've been watching them make this on Hell's Kitchen a LOT. But when I saw the Fat Ladies, I figured I could do it. Don't be afraid...its not that difficult, especially my way. So, get a GOOD Filet of beef. Expensive, but worth it. Marinate it for at least two hours in some white wine vinegar, water (about half and half) celery, onion, carrot, garlic. Drain and pat dry. Chop up shallots (two medium) and small pkg of mushroom (portabella) - put in frying pan with a tiny bit of olive oil (so it won't burn) until browned - add 1/4 cup of red wine (dry) and two heaping tablespoons of foie gras (liver pate). NOW WAIT - before you say "ewww, liver" - it does NOT give you the taste you'd think. It is VERY good. You can use duck or goose or chicken liver pate, doesn't matter, personal taste. Stir that all together in the pan till most of the moisture is cooked away, set aside.

Here's the part that freaks people out - the puff pastry dough. You CAN make your own - I cheat and buy it right in the freezer section. Get a box with two "sheets" of dough. Lay the dough right on the cookie sheet or baking pan you are going to use after a quick spritz of non-stick spray. Spread a good amount of the mushroom mix on the center of the dough, then take the beef patted dry, place in center spread the cooled mushroom mix around the rest of the filet, sprinkle with sea salt and pepper. Now, fold each side over (overlappin) and pinch it at both ends. Score the top of the dough to release steam. Brush with egg-wash. Bake in pre-heated 400 degree over for @ 20-25 minutes, the dough will be golden brown. The meat, rare. And, as the fat ladies said, if you want it well-done, "Don't bother cooking it a'tall"


The side for this is Swiss Chard. Very easy, cut the thicker, bottom ends of the stalks off, cook them first (leaves cook faster) put them in a hot skillet with olive oil, garlic and three anchovies chopped up or, a small teaspoon of anchovy paste - either way, no bones and it adds great flavor. Wait a few minutes until they are moist through, then add the leaves, stir, cover and remove from heat. The leaves will absorb the flavor.


Next up - classic baked chicken

REUBEN Sandwich

Simple, right? Hubby and the kids LOVE them. A few twists. I use marble rye/pumpernickle bread. I buy the whole loaf and cut it myself as I like the thicker slices. The 1000 island dressing? Ketchup, Mayo, Worsterchire, Horseradish, Dijon Mustard, salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder a touch of paprika. Then we layer, smear a tsp on the slice of bread (don't want it mushy) Lay down a thick slice of Swiss Cheese, a few slices of corned beef (Boars Head is excellent) sliced thin, bavarian saurkraut - don't heat if first - a little more 1000 island, more corned beef, another slice of cheese, then put the 1000 island on other slice of bread and put together. Melt some butter in a frying pan and saute' some garlic. When the garlic starts to brown, take it out of the pan and put the sandwich in. Let the sandwich get golden on each side - not too brown. THEN, take it out of the pan and put it in the toaster oven for about 5-10 minutes on 350 to melt it all together. Don't forget the Kosher Half/Sour pickle. Quick and easy.

Paprikash - sounds weird, tastes WONDERFUL

Paprikash means spicy gravy. It is AWESOME. I remember the scene from "When Harry met Sally". They were walking together. Harry says "Pleasshh to repeat after me...paaaaprrikaaasschhh......she tries over and over to say Parpikash. I always wondered about that dish and finally made it. YUM.





So, you can buy the packs of the whole chicken cut up, bone in. Season with sea salt, paprika, fresh ground pepper, onion and garlic powder. Mix up with some vegetable oil, cover and let sit in fridge overnight, I have to say, I hate waiting overnight for anything. Anyway, spread cut up onion on pan, place the chicken on top and bake at 350 degrees (uncovered) for 45 minutes.





While the chicken is baking, mix the dumplings. These are a pain in the ass. HOWEVER, they are well worth it. Take a regular box of (GASP) instant mashed potatoes - no flavors, just the flakes of instant mashed potatoes. Not a purist method, HOWEVER - regular potatoes do NOT have a good consistency. OK, SO - the whole box (not the jumbo box - not the small - medium - GOTTA LOVE my measurments, huh?) of instant flakes, half a pound (two sticks) margarine, 2-3 cups hot milk, one 8 oz. container of sour cream, 4 egss, 1/2 tsp salt. Mix. When all incorporated, pour a generous amount of flour out on counter, add contents and knead together until you have a dough. Cut off pieces, roll out long strands, cut into 1/2 inch lengths, roll till you get what looks like the size/thickness of a piece of (solid) ziti. When all of the pieces are rolled, boil water, salt and add dumplings. Once they float, REMOVE right away and put them into a baking pan. Melt sweet (unsalted) butter (pound) add a standard container of (unflavored) bread crumbs together, spread that over the top of the dumplings and bake at 300 degrees until golden brown.


The sauce is made with 1/2 pound of lard in large pot.



HERE IS WHERE I DIGRESS....so, I go into Price Chopper and look for lard. Up and down the aisles, dairy, bakery mixes, oils, etc. NO LARD. I ask one of the clerks where I might find the "albino buffalo" as it were...she looks at me and says "LARD?!?! Do you KNOW how BAD that is for you?????" Um, yes, fitness police, I realize that. But a recipe with lard is NOT the same if made with vegetable shortening....ass. Two stores later, I find the elusive lard. All by itself, like a child in a dunce cap. Sad, really.



Again, continuing with the sauce: After you add the LARD, add sauteed onion (two medium) and 2 sauteed green pepper and one small can of tomato paste. Let that mix together. 3 heaping tablespoons of paprika (spanish) 4 cups water, disolved chicken and beef boulion cubes (two of each - just dissolved enough to make a paste, 4 cloves crushed garlic (I used 6 - they were small), 2 bay leaves, 2 tablespoons marjoram and 2 tablespoons crushed red pepper. 16 oz sour cream. Let stew on low heat for about 1/2 hour -you can add a bit more water if needed. Mix milk and flour (wondra for sauces is GREAT) with salt and pepper to thicken the sauce. Strain the sauce, return to pot and add chicken from oven. Let sit and simmer for about 1/2 hour to an hour on low heat.



Remove golden brown dumplings, put on plate, put chicken over top and add a LOT of sauce. This stuff is wunderbah! And, NO ONE will complain about the Lard! Enjoy!

"Gourmet" Sandwiches/Paninis

Why I didn't post this before stupifies me. Especially during the summer when it's hot and no one really WANTS to "cook". Most everyone has a sandwhich press (or "panini" maker - stupid - its a press with lines in it they just charge more for it). I have a George Foreman grill/press (thanks to my Mother-in-Law who LIVED for infomercials - we have more of those grills, space bags, pedi-paws, grab-it, tweezie, buffer pads to remove leg hair, etc. & more than one, cause that just wasn't enough...). SO, there are two different types of quick recipes that kids AND adults will LOVE. First, the Chicken Alfredo. You don't HAVE to make it fresh (deeeeeep breath...in with the good air, out with the bad) and can use jarred Alfredo. Stand by, I need to grab a drink, I feel faint...OK. I suggest if this is the route you choose, go with Newman's Own. I say the Newman's because some of them are organic, don't really taste terrible and because of the charitable works and "Hole in the Wall" camps for terminal kids and their siblings. Not to mention they've donated GENEROUSLY to Green Chimney's - my son's school for kids with all different behavioral/emotional issues. So, there's my endorsement. :)

If you make it, chop up two/three cloves of garlic, simmer in butter, add light cream, grana padano grated cheese (I add a bit of Asiago and Fontina as well), fresh ground pepper and onion powder. Not too hard. SO, grill some chicken thats been cut into thin strips (in a bit of garlic and olive oil). You can do it in the pan or toaster oven on broil. Cut a pretty thick slice of Foccacia Bread or even just Italian Bread lengthwise - I use the Rosemary Focaccia and toast it VERY lightly before putting it in the press. I take two really large bags of fresh baby spinach, boil it rapidly, then throw it into cold water and drain/squish to get out the excess water. I PREFER Arugula, but the kids/hubby don't care for the taste. Toss the chicken in with the alfredo sauce so it is coated. Heat the press, spray with olive oil spray or butter flavor non-stick spray, put down one slice, cover with the spinach, add some drained roasted pepper or sun dried tomatoes, scoop on the chicken and alfredo sauce, cover with the second piece of bread and press. Leave it the whole time, or it will be mushy.

The second one is spicier. Same bread. Different contents. I use sliced beef (you can get roast beef cut thick at the deli and cut it into thin strips), tossed it into a fryer with garlic, olive oil, crushed red pepper, chopped red onion, portobello mushrooms, chopped artichoke hearts. Put the bread down on the press, add horseradish spread (you can buy it at most delis) or chipotle mayonnaise (depends on your taste, I've tried both) sprinke gorgonzola/blue cheese over the bread, add the beef mix, a little more blue cheese, bread with a bit more horseradish or chipotle spread and press. DELICIOUS! Served with an ICE COLD BEER! You can make two sandwiches/panini's at a time usually. Serve also with Kettle cooked potato chips. Sure to make everyone happy! Enjoy.

A whole new menu....but same great taste

..for me anyway. Seems I am now "borderline diabetic". Mostly from the booze I'd think, as I could care less about sweets, etc. I lost over 48 pounds 7 years ago on weight watchers. It took me a year, and stayed off for three, then I got SO happy, SO complacent and comfortable, I put it all back on in 5 years or so. Great! Whatever.

So, for a WING SNOB like me, I am adding my "substitute" for less than half the calories. When you have a craving for that taste, you gotta have it, right? So here's what we do. Chicken breast (skinless, sorry). Cut the breast into thin strips lengthwise, add a little salt, pepper, put it in a ziploc baggie with a few teaspoons of white vinegar and Frank's red hot sauce. Let it sit overnight, or two. Spray a pan with Butter flavor Pam (or other nonstick spray - butter flavor). Add two or three tablespoons of the red hot and some more white vinegar. Take the chicken from the bag, put it in the toaster oven on broil. As soon as it starts to brown on each side, take it out and throw it in the pan, sprinkle butter bud sprinkles on top of it and, Voila! Pour the rest of the sauce from the pan on top, yogurt "blue-cheese" dressing over lettuce with the chicken, full meal and the taste you crave! It is delicious...

This is bad, people. Gotta lose the weight, gotta stop drinking for a bit. It's ok. MY DOCTOR (that is in capitals for emphasis, cause you're not gonna believe this) told me about a VODKA called Voli. It has 40% fewer calories! AND electrolytes! (Can I drink this while on the treadmill I ask....rolling of the eyes meant no I'm guessing). Be this as it may, I looked this up, it is true. However, now I just have to keep my husband from seeing that it is produced in France (we don't like the french for many reasons....we are QUITE the patriotic family). I think I can hide it. As long as Budweiser sticks to the old Red, White and Blue? We're good...

Salad

When you think of salad, what do you think? Most people think, first, of lettuce. Romaine, red leaf, boston, butter leaf, etc. But, lettuce is most surely THE main ingredient. Also, the "dressing" generally consists of a vinegar/oil mix with spices. That said, I need to recount when I moved out to California with this VERY basic idea of food in my head. I was invited to a get-together on a friends boat (everyone has a boat out there it seems, as well as a hot tub and pool). I asked what I could bring. I was told that there were "two of everything" and that one person was bringing a salad, perhaps I could bring one as well. So, I mix the cruet (the free one from good seasons when you buy the packets) and mixed it with Balsamic, white wine and salvati vinegar, freshly ground black pepper, sea salt (even back then, I was ahead of my time), paprika, freshly chopped garlic, onion powder, some romano grated cheese and olive oil. On the salad itself, made of butter leaf lettuce and arugula, I added, green and black olives, vidalia and red onion, grape tomatoes, cucumber, shaved carrots and and freshly crushed italian croutons (baked with cheese). SO, we get to the boat, do all the introductions, settle in. There are to be fireworks in the bay this evening (fourth of July) and it is FREEZING. Let me say this as an aside. I lived in California for five years and had quite a few visitors. Every time I told them, BRING LONG PANTS AND A JACKET OR COAT. You see, an hour from San Francisco, anywhere in the bay area where I lived, once you are on the water, it gets CHILLY. I mean, we ended up with down blankets wrapped around us by 9pm when the fireworks started. COLD. Didn't Mark Twain say, the coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in San Francisco? I think so. Or some famous writer....back to the salad. We all get ready to have dinner and the first thing you have (which is the last thing you have in Europe, just saying) is the salad. SO, Ms. (as Miss or Mrs. is insulting...god help me) Earthy-crunchy with the Birkenstocks and dreads, brings out her salad. In it is: tangerines, dandelion greens, cashews, cranberries, almonds, lemon rind and walnuts. She dresses this with rasberry puree' of some sort and puts it out. I put my salad out, put crumbled gorgonzola cheese on top and dress it with my heavily vinegar laden dressing. No nuts, no fruit, no lawnclippings. Needless to say, at the end of the night, my salad is gone, hers is still pristine, sitting on the table. Let this be a lesson, people. If you are asked to make a "salad", make a SALAD. You have your fruit salad, that includes, SURPRISE!!! FRUIT! Then you have your "granola salad" that includes, fruits, nuts and flakes (and, as my father said, is the majority of California inhabitants). But when people say salad, THINK oil/vinegar and spices. C'mon people, life should NOT be this difficult. Fruit salad means just that....apples, peaches, melon, watermelon, etc. Do NOT confuse the two, PLEASE, I beg of you. Let's not make life more difficult than it needs to be, ok?