Salad

When you think of salad, what do you think? Most people think, first, of lettuce. Romaine, red leaf, boston, butter leaf, etc. But, lettuce is most surely THE main ingredient. Also, the "dressing" generally consists of a vinegar/oil mix with spices. That said, I need to recount when I moved out to California with this VERY basic idea of food in my head. I was invited to a get-together on a friends boat (everyone has a boat out there it seems, as well as a hot tub and pool). I asked what I could bring. I was told that there were "two of everything" and that one person was bringing a salad, perhaps I could bring one as well. So, I mix the cruet (the free one from good seasons when you buy the packets) and mixed it with Balsamic, white wine and salvati vinegar, freshly ground black pepper, sea salt (even back then, I was ahead of my time), paprika, freshly chopped garlic, onion powder, some romano grated cheese and olive oil. On the salad itself, made of butter leaf lettuce and arugula, I added, green and black olives, vidalia and red onion, grape tomatoes, cucumber, shaved carrots and and freshly crushed italian croutons (baked with cheese). SO, we get to the boat, do all the introductions, settle in. There are to be fireworks in the bay this evening (fourth of July) and it is FREEZING. Let me say this as an aside. I lived in California for five years and had quite a few visitors. Every time I told them, BRING LONG PANTS AND A JACKET OR COAT. You see, an hour from San Francisco, anywhere in the bay area where I lived, once you are on the water, it gets CHILLY. I mean, we ended up with down blankets wrapped around us by 9pm when the fireworks started. COLD. Didn't Mark Twain say, the coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in San Francisco? I think so. Or some famous writer....back to the salad. We all get ready to have dinner and the first thing you have (which is the last thing you have in Europe, just saying) is the salad. SO, Ms. (as Miss or Mrs. is insulting...god help me) Earthy-crunchy with the Birkenstocks and dreads, brings out her salad. In it is: tangerines, dandelion greens, cashews, cranberries, almonds, lemon rind and walnuts. She dresses this with rasberry puree' of some sort and puts it out. I put my salad out, put crumbled gorgonzola cheese on top and dress it with my heavily vinegar laden dressing. No nuts, no fruit, no lawnclippings. Needless to say, at the end of the night, my salad is gone, hers is still pristine, sitting on the table. Let this be a lesson, people. If you are asked to make a "salad", make a SALAD. You have your fruit salad, that includes, SURPRISE!!! FRUIT! Then you have your "granola salad" that includes, fruits, nuts and flakes (and, as my father said, is the majority of California inhabitants). But when people say salad, THINK oil/vinegar and spices. C'mon people, life should NOT be this difficult. Fruit salad means just that....apples, peaches, melon, watermelon, etc. Do NOT confuse the two, PLEASE, I beg of you. Let's not make life more difficult than it needs to be, ok?